Maybe He Really Did Want More Than a Party...

Is that really too hard to believe? That Jake Ryan could want more than a party? Well Party People, we don't think so. As we dig deeper here it is seeming more and more plausible that Michael Schoeffling could in fact be living in rural Pennsylvania. This is so ironic to us because it somehow lets the fantasy of Jake Ryan be perpetuated by this very real man, Mr. Schoeffling. If he chose a wife and kids and a quiet life over the glitz of Hollywood that just seems so Jake Ryan of him. Are you following this? The underlying tone floating around out there is that "Jake Ryan" is pure fiction. That the gorgeous boy would never give up his blonde bombshell girlfriend for a lower profile more fulfilling relationship. That is the stuff of dreams and everyone "knows" it would never happen. Well, why not?

Table Talk

So two things have occurred to us lately. We are in birthday mode around here and that got us thinking. How fun would it be to recreate with someone special that famous scene from Sixteen Candles- when Jake and Samantha are sitting on top of Jake's table, a birthday cake ablaze between them and the famous kiss as they carefully lean in towards each other for that oh-so-anticipated moment! That scene forever burned in the minds of women everywhere as one of the most romantic, most perfect movie-ending kisses EVER. Well, it got us thinking about tables. It is a bit funny they are sitting ON the table. A couple possible reasons come to mind. First, Jake's house is so trashed from the raucous party the night before it is quite possible the chairs were all destroyed. Or more likely, Jake Ryan's wealthy family simply owns such an enormous table that it would not have been intimate enough to sit far away from each other. Will we ever know? But what we do know is that there is no way our dining room table could hold the weight of two people sitting atop it. It is an old antique table passed on from our mother's family. In fact every time our dear mother visits she makes strange noises with her throat if there is so much as an elbow leaning heavily on the table. So the reality would be the table would surely collapse during any sort of romantic reenactment, the candles on the cake would light something on fire and the commotion would, without a doubt, wake up the children. So there you have it. We definitely need a sturdier table. And who better to build it for us? Michael Schoeffling of course!
And that brings us to our next thought, furniture makers in Pennsylvania. The first thought that occurs to most people (other than fellow Michael Schoeffling fans) is of course, the Amish. Now this is a very curious thought. We don't know much about the Amish but we do know that the limelight and modern day media are not synonymous with their culture. And that they are well known for making beautiful (sturdy) hand crafted furniture and that many of them call Pennsylvania home. Hmmmmmmmm..........

Do you smell fish?

Let's think about this for a minute. Cute boy lands some modeling jobs then eventually gets some acting jobs. Ends up in a movie that at the time didn't seem too significant. The movie is about teenagers and crushes and bawdy behavior. But the movie is funny and the characters are endearing. Time passes. For whatever reason boy leaves the acting career behind and slips away quietly to never be heard from again in any public media. No interviews, no paparazzi photos, no scandals, no stints in rehab, no untimely death, no trace. Time passes. The movie has become the darling of a generation. Fan pages are formed on social networking sites, t-shirts are made, the movie is aired in syndication almost every weekend. People all over the whole world still fondly quote the movie on a daily basis and reminisce over the brown eyed boy who captured their hearts all those years ago. They start to wonder where he went? What is he doing with his life all these years later? They google him. What turns up is found in every nook and cranny on the web with very few variations. Wikipedia states,"The lack of roles and a family to feed were his reasons for retiring from acting. He now lives with his wife, and their two teenage children in Northeastern Pennsylvania, producing handcrafted furniture as the owner of a woodworking shop."

It's that simple. But what we just can't grasp is with so many fans who would love to own a piece of his furniture (including us, let's be honest) how has he been able to avoid the spotlight so completely, so thoroughly. In the age of bodyguards, paparazzi, and stars buying private islands for refuge it seems too "Leave it to Beaver" that Michael Schoeffling could just be whittling wood.

Who in the heck is Michael Schoeffling???

It appears we may have a little explaining to do here. Some of you may be asking the same question our Dear Old Dad asked when we told him about our project, "Impressive, but who in the heck is Michael Schoeffling???" The immediate response to this question was quite obvious to us. "He's a boy daddy...Jake is a senior and he's beautiful and perfect. I like him a real lot and he doesn't like me, OK...and he's got this incredible girlfriend. I'm just this ridiculous dork following him around like a puppy." This is the response given by Samatha Baker, the heroine in our favorite movie, Sixteen Candles released in 1984. She is hopelessly infatuated with Jake Ryan and just like that you have the main theme of the movie.
Jake Ryan is played by the actor Michael Schoeffling. An actor who really wasn't well known for any of his other roles of which there were few. An actor who conveniently and cleverly disappeared from any glint of limelight in the early 1990's. Clever because his one big role, Jake Ryan, is such an enduring icon that his legacy is still alive and well. You will even find the Urban Dictionary has defined "Jake Ryan" as "A term used by women to describe the 'perfect boyfriend'."
The Jake Ryan fantasy has stood the test of time because at its core it is an age old archetype that us modern women are still willing to fall for! And by disappearing Michael Schoeffling has perpetuated the power of the Jake Ryan myth. It almost makes us wonder, do we really want to find him?

Michael Schoeffling: The Man, The Myth, The Yeti?

Starting to really wonder where this whole notion came from...that "Michael Schoeffling is a furniture maker in Northeastern Pennsylvania with a wife & two kids". What is the source? Who first published that and when? It is really feeling like one big game of telephone...if enough people repeat it, well then it must be true? Literally people just regurgitate it over and over and over again. So casually as if they know it to be true. Like it was happening next door. But NO ONE has ever given any more details. NOTHING. NO photos of beautiful hand crafted furniture. No photos of an older Michael Schoeffling. No address of a store. No real, documented "sightings". NOTHING! This is America! We live for that shit!